The Top 8 Myths For Finding Your Dream Job

If only we were taught in school how to find work we love....  I work with adults who are grappling with the big question of finding work that matters, some old enough to have children in high school. “Why don’t you teach this in high school?” I am often asked.

Good question.

Career exploration at its most effective begins with an inventory of yourself. In high school, there is still a lot to learn about who you are. Off to experience the world is what I say. 

Through life experience, it is what you learn about yourself you will use to discern what sparks you.

During career search, you will likely have come across some ideas that muddy thequest. Here are the top 8 myths that get in the way of you finding your best work fit:

Myth 1:  Someone else knows the answer better than you. 

Often when I work with people to identify their strengths, a pivotal exercise in work and job satisfaction, they are truly stumped. They frequently suggest asking close friends and relatives to assist with the task.

Since strengths are about connecting to what makes you strong (see strengths exploration here), no one else can really know for sure what your strengths are. How people can help you is noticing your behaviour. For example, you may notice that your friend’s eyes light up whenever they talk about a certain subject.

In our culture we are discouraged from stating our strengths. It is akin to bragging. Though you are expected to know your strengths, at job interviews for example, there are few places that help with getting to know what they are. No wonder we look to others for the answer.

The truth is that you will always know the best answer. The challenge is that it takes some unearthing and focus.                     

Myth 2:  A career coach will tell you the best work fit for you.

This is related to the first myth. A good career coach will ask questions that help you dig deeper. They will keep you focused on those big inquiries like:  who are you? what is most important to you?  where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I see career exploration as a discovery process where you look at all the pieces and then develop your own vision of what you want in your life.

Sometimes the challenge is getting a picture of the repertoire of occupations. Simply reading through a listing of occupations is an overwhelming task considering there are thousands in Canada. Your career coach can help you narrow down those possibilities.

The truth is a career coach walks alongside you for the exploration journey. Think of it as a collaboration. 

Myth 3:  The listing of “hot” careers is where you should focus your possibilities.

“Hot” careers are those listings determined by government to be the ones that will have the most labour market demand in the future. Stats Canada has projected demand in various occupations until 2031. Choosing an occupation based on this list ensures you get a job. 

The challenge with the labour market is that it is always changing due to technology, changes in the economy and other influences. For example, there has been projections regarding baby boomers retiring but many have not left the workforce because they cannot afford to retire.

The truth is “hot” careers is not necessarily an accurate gauge of what is happening in the work world.  Solely basing your decision on what is in demand can be fraught with later disappointment.  

Myth 4:  The right opportunity will appear for me.

Opportunities present themselves every day.  Some you need to choose.  Some you should not.  Part of the challenge in life is figuring out which ones are which.  

The problem waiting for the right opportunity to come your way is that it places the power of choice outside of yourself, and lessens the possibility of finding work that is alignment with who you are.

Where you can see this playing out is when people have been in a company or organization for a long time; the tendency is to promote from within so you may be offered a position as a supervisor but have little interest or strengths in being responsible for other people’s work. The allure of increased wages can take people in directions that make life miserable.

If you see people who are doing work they love, you will see they thought carefully about what they wanted and then worked deliberately to land it. 

The truth is an opportunity is only an opportunity if it is what you want. 

Myth 5:  There is only one fit for me. 

Once I began looking at work choices from an integrated, multi-faceted model (see the model here), I understood the matter was about using specific talents of mine; those could be applied to different types of work.

For example, being able to look at the big picture and seeing how different elements connect together is a talent that could be used as a healthcare administrator or teacher or owner of a business. 

The truth is there are many fits for you but some fit better than others.

Myth 6: Once you pick a career, you are locked into it for life.

 One of the trends in the career development field is selecting your education based on your strengths rather than a specific type of career because work is changing so rapidly. One expert stated the work a person will be doing when they graduate university hasn’t been invented when the child enters primary school. 

Not only will you not be locked into a certain job for life, the probability is that you will change what you do several times during your career. The best way to prepare for change on that level is being clear about what it is you offer.  

 The truth is in the world of work, you can only count on more change. 

Myth 7: Career assessments will produce the right career for you.

 The short answer here is maybe. Career assessments are based on a variety of factors such as interests, personality type and skills. The most popular assessments have high validity scores and strong predictive results.  Studies are based on real people doing the specific type of work so your results are compared directly to their responses. This increases the likelihood of you experiencing satisfaction in the work.

The challenge here is the complexity of being human cannot be integrated into a career assessment. For example, you may be well suited to work in the healthcare field but have a decided disdain for witnessing others’ suffering.

The great outcome of doing a career assessment is that it produces a listing of occupations, some of which you may not have considered. One of the features that I appreciate about career assessments is a listing of related occupations so if you don’t have time to go to school for 7 years, there could be other choices that don’t require that degree of education.

The truth is that career assessments can be helpful but you still know the best.  After all it is your life.     

Myth 8: Choosing a career is a simple process.

If choosing a career was simple, you would have done it already. Wouldn’t I have loved to be the type of person who knew at a young age what I wanted to do for my work?  For me, finding my path was curvy, with lots of side roads.

 For you, be assured that once you begin your journey, there is much to discover; listen carefully and it will point you in the right direction. 

The truth about choosing a career is the process may not be easy but when you find your best fit, you will feel ease.

The Art of Surrender: what to do when you don't know what to do

What do you do when you are perplexed about what to do? When it seems like there are no roads ahead and going back is not an option, how do you navigate yourself? 

At times I have felt utterly lost and sometimes befuddled by possibilities. 

This happened especially when I was at a work crossroad. What I knew for sure was my work was not satisfying or engaging me. At those times, I woke up early and felt deflated about the day ahead. I had no idea of what I wanted to do but I was very clear about what I did not. 

I felt like I should know the answer. Now would be nice. I had an urge to do something, anything.

And then I learned about surrender. In the most unlikely of places. Spain.

Finding my way in Valencia

I had received instructions from my host family in Valencia on how to get to the centre of the city – the train, transfer to the subway and the name of the station where to get off.

At the train platform, there was a machine to buy my 10-ticket pass. Thankfully, there was an English option. On the final screen after the purchase, I read, “Validate your ticket.” 

What I remembered then was a discussion from the previous day with house mates who said there were steep fines if you hadn’t validated your ticket. 

I looked around. I had no idea what to do with my ticket.  My rudimentary Spanish language skills did not include “validate.” A train approached. Every one who got on went directly to their seats.  No machines on there. The train departed.

I had been in Spain for 10 days. I had many times like this particular moment, where I was truly stymied about how to proceed. No one to ask. Not even Google.

Alone on the platform, my surrender lesson began. I sat on the bench. 

The first idea that comes up about surrender is that it is about giving up. Surrender, I found, is much more active. What is involved is letting go and embracing. Many of the most important lessons in life have a paradox. 

What I leave behind in surrender is resistance and pushing. Instead of insisting something must be a certain way, I enter into a zone of not trying so hard.

When I observe my resistance, I can see that it is about an attachment to how things must be, about how I want to control a situation. Underneath that is fear, the companion of control.

What I embrace in surrender is two ideas, both about paying attention:

1. Something bigger is going on. In the moment, the predicament may take up all the space. For example, being in a job that you don’t like may propel you to try harder or minimize your feelings. What if it is time to move on? Perhaps it is time to grow and expand your knowledge. This can be especially hard if you have a “golden handcuffs” kind of job, where envisioning quitting a job is associated with leaving great benefits behind. What is bigger is all about trust. Can you see beyond what you perceive as a loss? 
2. The time has come to do some observing. When it feels like something must be done, the most helpful action is mindfulness. What is it that you really want to do? What excites you? When you look at your life, what clues do you see?  Paying attention this way, though, means looking carefully. That cannot be done when you are speeding through life. 

The first step in surrendering is cease doing what you are doing.  I am reminded of the saying from Cowboy Will Rodgers:  “If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.”

This step may be the hardest of all, especially if you really want something.  You may have invested a lot of time and energy in your pursuit and not want to throw that away.

What may help is understanding that there are many ways to get to a destination. Or maybe the destination you envisioned is not what you really want after all. When you begin uncovering what is happening for you, you may find the destination is not specific but more of a feeling. For example, you may be looking for work where you have more freedom. Or where you can better use your gifts and talents.

The next step is understanding that anything that is really important to you will require an act of faith.   

“Of course, most of the things that truly matter require significant leaps of surrender. Without it there can be no love. Unless we learn to let down our defenses, to tolerate, forgive, and abide, no human relationship is possible. There can be no creativity without practicing surrender, either, since creativity springs from the unknown.”  Mark Matousek

Back on the platform in Valencia, a man on a bike maneuvered close to me. He reached in his pocket, pulled out a card and waved it over a flat surface. I heard a noise. After he left, I took my card and repeated his motion. “Neuve residual,” flashed on the screen. Nine remaining. I had validated my ticket. 

A Curious Life

Discover how curiosity is key to a life that is rich and rewarding.

“I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

What Albert Einstein gave the world extends far beyond his theory of relativity – he modeled a state of being. This week Einstein re-entered our lives.

Scientists recently announced their first detection of gravitational waves, the result of two Black Holes merging together.

The discovery will allow us to see the universe in a completely different way because what was once invisible is visible.

This is big. The discovery will allow us to get an understanding of our beginnings, and know about some fundamental forces of nature – gravity in particular.

Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity is 100 years old and now has been proven. Wouldn’t he be delighted to see this happen?

When I think of people who have led a curious life, Albert Einstein would be at the top of the list. Though I struggle to understand the concepts that allow us to know so much about the universe, I am fascinated by this new discovery.

And grateful to those before and around me who keep asking questions. Those who are energized by wanting to know more.

I have found in my life that having the motivation of curiosity opens doors that I never could have imagine. And it keeps me on the right track. Whenever I am driven by fears, life becomes confusing and messy.

But when I pay attention to what intrigues me, what makes me want to know more, then I am feel much more connected. I like to think of it as pulling versus pushing.  What pulls me is what makes me stand up and take notice – it is where I want to direct my attention.  Pushing on the other hand is when I am compelled to go in a direction because it is something I “should” do or what I might consider to be my best interests.

In terms of work, my curiosity will take me to those places where I will do my best work.  I will be pulled by certain kinds of tasks. I will want to learn more.

When I am pushing myself, there is often a grit-my-teeth approach. If I suck this up now, then tomorrow I will reap the rewards. 

You can think of curiosity, then, as a guide. If you pay attention to what grasps your attention, there are a lot of clues about your work and your life. From noticing you will find out about your strengths, passions, motivations and everything else that you need to lead an inspired life.

The challenge is immense. According to an American study, people spend less than 20% of their time doing activities that they enjoyed or were meaningful to them.  In a culture that does value engagement, you can expect some resistance to exploring what makes you curious, internally and externally.

Why is curiosity so important? And how does it improve your life?

You are actively engaged in your life.

Curiosity takes you from an ordinary life to an extraordinary one. With a curiosity, you pay attention in much deeper ways.

Your world opens up to new possibilities.

One of the greatest offshoots of asking questions is this takes you into places that you couldn’t have imagined by yourself. This is how great discoveries and inventions have occurred.

Curiosity keeps you in touch with feeling alive.

A curious life is one that has excitement and adventure and that leads to a rich and satisfying life. 

According to Todd Kashdan, author of Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life, the benefits of leading a curious life include increased health, intelligence, social relationships, happiness and meaning.  

Curiosity is fundamental to all humans. We can cultivate it in our lives, too.  Here are some ideas for making curiosity a daily part of your life. 

Developing a Curiosity Practice

Read a variety of books. Through this practice you will be able to see connections between different ideas and look at a problem through a different lens. For example, fiction books often are well researched, introducing you to a new perspective or thought.

Change the ordinary. When going down a routine route or walking down a familiar path, what do you notice that is different?

Ask a lot of questions. When meeting someone new, step outside of the regular inquiries about the kind of work a person does and explore what new project in their life is exciting them. For people you already know, ask questions about their lives or interests.

Be open to new experiences. Rather than going to an immediate no, think of the experience as a way of learning more about yourself and the world. Practice saying yes for a day.

Dive into those interests and passions that intrigue you. For this week, what is one way that you can go deeper into your interests. This can be about learning more about interests of yours. 

In this Year of the Monkey, develop their spirit of irrepressible curiosity.

What are you doing with your life?

Recently Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a Facebook posting asking this question and framing it in the definition of 4 words. Hobby. Job. Career. Vocation.

The answers were breathtakingly fresh, offering an important distinction between taking care of basic needs to doing what gives you meaning. She is clear that it is important to understand the differences between each of these aspects of being human. To read her article, check it out here. 

The word that I prefer over career is work. Career can be challenging as it is sometimes seen as corporate or one rung on a ladder that has a vague top step. For people whose work is more of a one-stop type, career sounds lofty and unrelatable.

Work, on the other hand, has its roots firmly planted in our history. I saw it in my grandparents' generation. I hardly remember a time when my grandmother was not working. Far into her retirement, she was cooking and gardening and doing temporary jobs. That view of work was passed onto my parents.

What my father and mother impressed upon me was a strong work ethic. They both worked hard. I doubt that my father’s trucking business was his dream career but he gained a good reputation for doing outstanding work. My mother who is 80 this year still works full time in addition to gardening and caring for her home.

When I think of my parents, I think of Fraggle Rock’s doozers, those tiny, green creatures in construction hats and work boots who are happily industrious.

Work ethic is a value that includes

• doing a job well,
• doing what you say you are going to do,
• separating work and personal life, and
• caring about what you are doing.

This value is still central to many workplaces.

The key difference in how the world has changed around work since my parents’ and grandparents’ time is the idea of doing work we love. Previously if you found it, that was a bonus. Now it is more deliberate.

And a bit of a double edged sword. For those who have not found work they love, they feel a pressure to figure it out and a sense of inadequacy for not having done so.

If this is happening for you, knowing the distinction between hobby, job, career and vocation may help. When I encounter people who are struggling with the pressure, I encourage them to explore this further – there is a lot to navigate in this new work world.

In thinking of vocation, I like the term - your life’s work. I first heard the phrase from Laurence G. Boldt, author of How to Find the Work You Love and Zen and the Art of Making a Living. 

Your life's work is something you do no matter what. It wouldn’t matter if you got paid or anyone else approved of what you are doing. It is fundamental to who you are.

For example, I think of my life’s work as an archaeologist. I read books on the subject, plan vacations around visiting ruins, and take courses whenever I can. I am drawn to articles written on archaeology. Once I went to a workshop on deciphering Maya glyphs, a subject that far exceeded my knowledge level.

In a way it is how I do my work as a career coach.

What you will notice about your life’s work is:

You want to know more.

• You will be drawn to articles or books or videos on the subject. There will be a natural inclination to learn more and pass the information onto others.

You feel alive.

• When you are doing your life’s work you will feel more engaged in the world.
• You will also find yourself feeling energized – your life’s work fuels you. 

It will answer the question: what are you doing with your life?

• Or another way of looking at it, doing your life’s work will stop you from asking the question, "what are you doing with your life?"

“Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess. Vocation does not come from a voice “out there” calling me to be something I am not. It comes from a voice “in here” calling me to be the person I was born to be.”  Thomas Merton

Doing Good Work: How to Make a Difference

One of the key ways for enjoying your work is by making a difference in other people's lives.

An organizational psychology doctor student at the University of Michigan, Adam Grant, found in his field studies that when your work has a positive impact on others, it makes a difference to your job satisfaction and productivity.

People want to help.  As social beings, you are hardwired to be and do with others.

What does making a difference look like?  In some way, however you help, you will enhance another person's life, impacting in ways that ease suffering, extend a helping hand or bring joy to their lives.

Easing suffering

the shoebox project - gifts for women-in-need

Making a difference for you might mean working directly to helping with suffering.  From paramedics to counsellors to relief aid workers, direct service work has immediate feedback on how others are impacted.

Perhaps how you want to contribute is in subtler ways. For example, for those who experience anxiety filling out forms, another person's help in filling out a vital application can shift the experience from fear to calm.

As you can see, helping others who are suffering can be about your occupation or through a volunteer position or by just being who you are.

Extending a hand

I have always been intrigued with Habit for Humanity, the organization who makes affordable housing accessible to low-income families who would otherwise never own a home.  Volunteer time and donated materials are the backbone of how this initiative works.  The organization is all about extending a hand.

Making a difference by helping others in this way is also in work such as providing advocacy, working in a second-hand clothing store or any non-profit social service agency, or giving information at a tourist centre.

Extending a hand means offering kindness to others.

I read an article recently about how to help the homeless.  One of the basic ways is to acknowledge that they exist. Say hello. Street people are frequently treated as if they are "less than," and experience anything from avoidance to abuse.  Say hello and smile.

Daily life offers many opportunities to lend a hand.

Bring joy and meaning to others

A lot of jobs can bring a sense of meaning to other people's lives.  I remember being in an art store with an elderly shop keeper; he moved quite slow. When he offered to put my pencils in a bag, it made sense to not have them loose in my purse. Almost immediately, I was rethinking my decision.

He took so long to find the right size bag and then place the pencil in the right way. When he reached for the stapler, I surrendered. What I noticed was how careful he was packaging my pencils. I was honoured by his consideration.

He made an impact on my day.

Making a difference by bringing joy can happen, too, in many types of work. A barista who makes spectacular coffee art, a helpful librarian, a mechanic who assures a stranded motorist, or a bagger at the grocery store - all of these people bring smiles to others. 

Occupations like artists, writers and teachers make difference in people's lives through thought-provoking ideas and creations, where the audience gains a new perspective or understanding. 

Some of the biggest differences you can make in another person's life is in ordinary ways.  Encouraging others, telling people what you appreciate about them and being considerate are some of the best offerings.

Generosity, both through giving to others and through extending good will, plants deep seeds and makes profound difference in other lives.

Is it important to you that making a difference is a part of your work?

When thinking of a career, how do you choose one that makes a difference?  As you can see above, there are many ways this can happen.  The difference you make will have a combination of 3 factors:

Know what making a difference means to you

• What is your own personal definition of making a difference? 
• Each one of us has a special way of helping others. What is your vision of how you can improve some part of the world?

Identify your strengths and move in that direction

• Where you will feel the most effective has everything to do with your strengths.  What do you do that makes you feel strong?
• You will offer the most when you are working in your strengths; you will also experience the most satisfaction and the recipients of your gifts and talents will be most impacted when you are in your element.
• For an exploration of strengths, check out this article. 

Take a stand.  Do what’s important to you.

• What makes you angry? 
• Where does injustice tug at you? 
• By answering these questions, you will get a sense of what is important to you. 
• Our values are central to where we want to make a difference. 
• Explore your values here.

How do you want to make a difference?

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Check out this article on making a difference in daily ways:

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/25-ways-to-make-a-difference-in-the-world-every-day/

Here's an inspirational video on making a difference:

You are welcome to leave comments below - what makes a difference to you?