What are the top 10 things I should experience in life?

Stepping in to 2017!

As I write this, it is the eve of post-Christmas holiday return to work. While the ambiance of new beginnings flutters around us, the fatigue of indulgence draws us to more couch time.

Now is a good time to think about what it is that we really want. But it feels like an undertaking.

So here’s an idea. Back up and look at the big, big picture. With this viewpoint, we see what is most important to us, what really truly matters.

When we get a sense (and feeling) of what really matters, it is our beacon for work that matters.  

What I stumbled upon last year was an app called li.st, a way of looking at life from a lists perspective. It could be like this:

Jobs That Sound a Lot Better Than They Actually Are

• truck driver – sure you get to travel but what do you see?
• cook - sharp knives and hot stoves - a recipe for disaster

While I balk at making a to-do list, I love the idea of a list that gets me thinking.

Near the end of 2016, I was introduced to Quora, a question and answer forum. Great questions which prompt ideas of lists.

Immediately I found one that I wanted to share with you. I invite you to create your own list from this question.

What are the top 10 things I should experience in life?

A globular cluster

Specifically, see this through a telescope. Globular clusters are a densely packed grouping of old stars. The first time I saw one, I was astounded that there could be that many points of light in one space.

Why does this matter?  Because it is about looking at something so much bigger than ourselves. Life gets put in perspective. 

Listen to someone speaking a language you don’t know

What this requires is so much concentration. Notice what you are noticing. How is the person expressing themselves with their hands or their face?

What does this matter? In our day-to-day lives, we can become immune to the wonder of it all. We need wonder.

Read. A lot.

We get introduced to many ideas through reading. Try different genres. And don’t forget to include books in your must reads.

Why does this matter? It enriches our experience of life.

Real Estate and Workplace Services - Google Offices

Experience awe.

Recently I saw a high-definition video filmed in Costa Rica. As I watched a frog climbing a tree, one foot reaching at a time, I was taken with how its “fingers” worked both together and separately.

Why does it matter? Awe is what fuels us, what makes us feel alive.

Learn something – just because

Years ago, I participated in a whittling course. Besides making a spoon, I also learned how to sharpen a knife, a skill I used this week and how quickly I could cut myself. Did you know there are band aids you put on your hands before using a knife that a knife cannot penetrate? 

Why does it matter? Fundamental to being human is the need to learn and grow.

Go wild

Whether it is watching a storm or being out in nature, wilderness reminds us of immense forces that shape our lives.

Why does it matter? A little humbleness helps us all.

The marvel of cities - San Francisco

Big cities

Cities are amazing! What I love about visiting them is the delights and delicacies that makes each of them unique. There is so much to discover; I am struck by how different (and the same) we go about our days.

Why does it matter? Cities offer many ways to relook at our lives.

Travel Alone

My first trip to Europe was a solo trip, a couple of years ago. What I learned from that experience was my ability to solve problems and depending on myself. Keeping my wits about me meant I only went a few blocks in the wrong direction on the metro. 

Why does it matter? It keeps us sharp.

Falling in love

This is a definite must in life. It could be another person who you fall in love with. But what about a sunset? The ocean? A dog? A cat? Yourself?

Why does it matter? It expands our world. 

Now, I would like to invite you to answer the question. Post your answer in the comments below. Remember there are no rules here - if you have one top thing, that's great!

What are the top 10 things I should experience in life?

8 Powerful Habits to Make a Difference

“It’s the hand reaching out with the gift from inside.”

As we approach the longest night of the year, the season pulls us to inner reflections. The line above is lyrics from a song by Fred Penner called The Season; I always appreciate the spirit delivered through his words.

Because I work in social services, I see the starkness of our troubled world and generosity every day.  I am fortunate to see how acts of kindness and kind regard make a big difference in others’ lives.

What I also see is a lot of people working hard every day to make a difference in others’ lives.

What I know is making a difference happens in ordinary ways. It isn’t hard to cultivate the spirit.

Here are some excellent ways to develop making-a-difference habits:

Work on the right things

When we are making our greatest impact, we experience the most satisfaction. How do we focus our energy so this can happen?

We have many choices in a day about how to spend our time. In my own life, I am astonished when an entire busy day passes without me attending to what matters most. Working on the right things – those most important activities – will spread out into the world, affecting others.

To attend to what makes a difference in life, do two things. Instead of a to-do list, create a biggest priority list. Then schedule the top priorities to make sure it happens.

Love what you do

The biggest influence we can have on others is to be truly engaged with what we are doing. Our enthusiasm and liveliness touches people in ways we don’t know.

Develop the habit by making time to do what you love to do.

Be curious

Being curious is connected to loving what we do; the more we follow that scent of what pulls us, the more we touch what matters most.

Being curious is a life changer, from attending interviews to public speaking. When we are curious, we are open. When we are open, there are possibilities we may never have imagined.

Cultivate the habit of curiosity by asking questions:

• What about this situation is working or not working for you?
• How do you want to help?
• Where can you make a difference?
• What is a burning issue for you?

Take care of yourself

We are our most helpful to others when we have taken care of ourselves.

Remember to take care by

• sleeping
• healthy eating
• exercising
• rest and relaxation – have fun!
• practicing radical self care

Take charge of your work life

Where would you like to be in 5 years from now? What kind of work environment do you do your best? Do you feel as if you are on track with your work life?

Being in command of where you are headed provides the stable ground required for doing work that makes a difference to others.

To develop this habit, review your work life once or twice a year. A way to do this:

• Reflect on what went well in the past 6 months.
• What would you have liked to have improved?
• Where would you like to focus your energy in the next 6 months or a year?
• What are the steps you need to get there?

Stand up

We bring along our values to everything we do and the decisions we make. Standing up for what we believe in provides the link to making a difference in others’ lives. People who share values work towards a common good.

To develop this habit, stand up for what you believe. There are many ways you can show up:

• volunteering
• quitting something
• starting something

Stay present in life

Making a difference often happens in ways you do not know. Through our actions, we are planting seeds all the time, whether it is an act of kindness that gets passed on or words of encouragement that make a day.

Whatever you do, don’t underestimate the power of a smiling face.

To develop this habit, see yourself as a receptacle where you are both doing acts of kindness and recognizing the acts of kindness happening to you. You are a part of something bigger.

Start now

The way we make a difference is finding those moments delivered to us each day – opening a door, giving someone a gift just because or buying food for the homeless person outside the grocery store.

Develop this habit by starting now.

I would love to hear about people making a difference! Share your stories on the Facebook page – Finding Work That Matters. 

You are find it here:

Finding Work That Matters Facebook Page

How to embrace those curious parts of you

“It’s not much of a tail but I’m sort of attached to it.”

A.A. Milne

Poor Eeyore. He had a lot of problems with his tail. Had he been in today’s workforce, deciding where he was the best fit, those issues would have pointed him in the right direction.

Winnie the Pooh’s friend has a view on life that would be described as glum. And yet, he was often profound in what he had to say.

He also had an intriguing relationship with his tail. As you can tell from the above quote, he wasn’t particularly proud or impressed with it though it is an integral part of his life.

I think we can relate. Studies on self talk show that a high percentage (80% on one study) of our thoughts are negative.

Laurence G. Boldt, author of Zen and the Art of Making a Living, eloquently identifies one of those voices in our head as the Voice of Self Diminishment. It has the effect of stopping us cold in our urge to move forward.

When the Voice speaks to our inner world, it is a mean critic.

In my line of work, there is nothing like looking at gifts, talents, desires and dreams to bring out that Voice.

What the Voice speaks to our outer world, it says:

• “Oh, that thing. Anyone can do that.”
• “What I do isn’t spectacular. Think of ___________.”
• “Well, I could actually make money doing that.”

That is enough to bury any dream.

AND

There is a powerful core part of being a human with a deep desire to do something bigger.

When I was a young woman entering the workforce, I paid a lot of attention to what I could do. What were my skills? What places could I use them? At some point I was grateful to get a job; it didn’t matter what I was doing.

I felt like Eeyore. I downplayed my attributes and certainly had no clue of my strengths, never mind how to use them in a workplace. 

Sometimes that Voice of Self Diminishment was very active especially when I was feeling restless in my boring tasks. I compared myself to others. They seemed perfectly happy doing their work. What was wrong with me?

Sometimes I saw a life I wanted to emulate. Mary Tyler Moore.

Like Eeyore, I wasn’t that impressed with what I had.

I put a great deal of effort into trying to make myself fit into a mold, into telling myself I needed an attitude shift, and into paying too much attention to the outside world.

As I continued in my work world, a question kept arising:

“Is this how my entire life will be?”

The impetus behind that inquiry is what drove me to submit my resignation letter, many times, once when I was 7 months pregnant. I was bold.

Even if I wasn’t paying attention to what I wanted to do.

What I was discovering was what Eeyore was puzzling about – I couldn’t ignore parts of myself. Pretty important parts.

After all, a tail is a signature for a donkey.

Over time, I started looking more inwards. At first I noticed what was not working for me. Like repetitive tasks. Then I started paying more attention to what did. Tools like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator gave me a new understanding of who I was, at the core.

I could see advantages in differing ways of looking at the world.

I was also able to see some beliefs that had been in the driver’s seat of my life, ideas embedded a long time ago.

I was becoming more and more comfortable with who I am. The bonus was I was getting clearer and clearer about the good work fit for me.

So what I discovered was this:

In the equation of finding work that mattered to me, knowing myself was a core variable. 

I now see the equation like this:

Whenever it is time to go down the path to find work that matters, whether it has been foisted upon us or by a choice of our own, it always begins with Who I Am.

In many images of Eeyore, he wears a pink ribbon on his tail. I think of it as his celebration of a tail that might not be the greatest but it does belong to him. 

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Creativity Matters: it matters more than you might think

Have you ever sat down to write or draw and something more urgent that needs to be done? At this exact moment.

Today when I began writing this blog, I sat down at my computer. Within minutes I was washing dishes. It could have been laundry. Or vacuuming.

It seems I have a particular attraction to distraction.

Facing a blank page or screen or canvas is like looking into the abyss. What am I going to say? What do I have to say?

There is an opposing nudge. My book and fountain pen are never far away and I keep the 2-week schedule for my blog. 

On those days when procrastination retreats, I see the 2 forces inside of me. The push-pull I hear from other writers, often with comedic slants.

One quote whose authorship is disputed says, “I only write when I am inspired. Fortunately it strikes every morning at 9.” 

What I know for sure is creativity is fundamental to being human.

We all have a deep desire to express ourselves, to tap into our wellspring and bring our own uniqueness out into the world.

When people talk about what is most important for them in the workplace, creativity is often in the top 5.

If we aren’t in the professions, we think of creativity as other: artists, designers, writers, stylists, engineers.

Perhaps we might count ourselves in if we looked at what it really means to create.

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of creative is ”using the ability to make or think of new things.”

One year when my children were small, I decided to hang a plant out of their reach. Though I had the pot, I no longer had the hanger part. What I did have was leftover speaker wire. From my macramé classes I envisioned how I could wrap the wire to form a hitch I could slide over the ceiling hook. I used metal nuts, leftover from another project, to secure the ends of the wires into the pot – they were small enough to be tucked under the pot rim.

The end result was a subtle, sturdy and classy-looking hanger.

When I looked at my prototype, I had a thought – I am an inventor!

Oh, I didn’t really see myself in that way.

In retrospect, I can see I was solving a problem. Using the skills I had acquired and the material I had lying around, I connected the dots to create a useful item. A new thing.

I didn’t think of myself as a creative type. In fact, when I thought of all of the wondrous creations that were crossing my path, I definitely was not putting myself in that category.

Now I wonder how much I restricted myself with the thought that I wasn’t creative. 

What is interesting to me is how the age of technology has helped me rethink about creativity. Though computers have presented many opportunities, I find myself in a whole new realm of problems

Back in the late ‘80s when I worked in publishing, my task was to create a database with 2 purposes: doing mailouts according to Canada Post guidelines and identify subscriptions up for renewal.

What I discovered in the process was:

1. Computers allowed me to do tasks that I hadn’t been able to do easily beforehand.

2. The programs had specific ways of doing things, not necessarily related to what I wanted to do.

I had to figure it out. My work became about solving the problems computers presented.

Not that it was a bad thing. As I solved one problem and moved to the next, I was developing stronger problem solving skills. This also provided a rich environment for new ideas.

This is happening all the time as people go about their dailyness. Developing a system for family activities, especially when 2 schedules merge – for example, a parent driving their child to her soccer game – is vital to keeping life rolling smoothly. 

Would you call that being creative? 

What if we expanded our beliefs about what it means to be creative? How might this change how we look at ourselves?

Creativity matters because it shifts how we look at something. Even ourselves.

If we looked at ourselves in expansive ways, we would be able to own our gifts and talents and see how imperative it is to take them out into the world. We would see how our particular contributions make a difference. We would see how the problems of the world are exacerbated by our self diminishment. 

Creativity is a life changer. And imperative to growth.

How can you make room for more creativity in your life? 

Thinking of creativity as the ability to make new things to solve a problem, what have you created?  Please share your stories in the comments below.

Escape the Ordinary: Why Adventure Matters

I read an article recently about mirroring the morning routines of successful people. What a wretched idea.

Why not instead look at how people create adventure in their lives?

As an ENFP in Myers-Briggs land, I am about keeping it fresh. One of the MBTI books says that ENFPs hate routine – not dislike or not enjoy. Hate.

I say that ENFPs have a great perspective.

I am in good company. Paulo Coelho says, “If you think adventures is dangerous, try routine; it’s lethal.”

Routines wind their way into habits, those nasty creatures settling into our days and urging us to get dozy about our lives.

One day we wake up from our snooze, have an aha moment and absolutely know life can be different. Where is the excitement we once imagined? Our work has become lackluster and we question how to change it.

From inside the cocoon of routines and busyness, there isn’t very much space to re-imagine our life. Thoughts go to yes-buts, crossing off more than we add to our list of possibilities. 

That is why adventure matters.

I recently asked about adventure on Facebook. What brilliant responses! 

Adventure:

• “feeds our creativity, confidence and perspective on life”
• “gives us a bigger perspective on our world”
• “expands our mindset and understanding of ourselves and the world”
• “opens us up to limitless possibilities”
• “drives progress”
• “lets me experience aspects of myself I might otherwise never experience if I do the same things over and over”

And why does it matter? One of the respondents said, “Because your soul needs to breath…and this is what adventure was meant for.”

Another person said that adventure “stimulates the growth of new brain cells, new ways of being and builds the muscles of courage.”

To me, this is exactly the space we need when we are wrestling with work that doesn’t fit; we need to be immersed in the spirit of adventure.

Adventure reminds us of what it means to be alive; it allows us to have the experience, to feel it. When we touch the alive feeling, we are connected with our essential selves, the part that knows what really matters.

Adventures have 3 aspects:

1. an exciting or unusual experience
2. exploring unknown territory
3. uncertain outcome

What will motivate us to make a change is the opposite feeling. It might announce itself in the morning when we think about our day ahead or when we come back from holidays; it says, “nothing about this is what I signed up for.”

Where are you now?

If you are wanting to make a change and don’t know how or obligations feel too onerous or you feel confused, consider putting adventure in your life.

One of the challenges in thinking about adventure is it has become synonymous with travel. You might imagine taking a year off, travelling around the world and discovering your perfect work. Or this may not be your dream at all.

Either way, consider the idea of adventure entering into your ordinary life. Start generating ideas for your future!

Here are some ideas for daily adventure:

Learn something new.

Recently my son asked me a question: when was the last time you learned a skill not related to work? I couldn’t remember. I love the idea of learning something just for its own sake. I love the idea of it being tangible like the time I took a whittling course. I made a spoon and learned how (eventually) to whittle wood and not my fingers.

Do something different

I remember someone once telling me to try to do daily activities with the opposite hand; if you always reach to turn the door handle with your left hand, try your right. Each morning I do my routines in a different order. Sometimes I exchange making my lunch for writing; I love the idea of my day beginning with doing what I love.

Take a risk

One of the elements of adventure is taking risks. One way to consider risk is exercising its muscle. If you have the universal fear of talking in public, find a place where you can talk for one minute. And then two. Risk is about making ourselves vulnerable and that is when we make our biggest connections with others. 

Do anything using your imagination

Being able to imagine an inspired life is where it all begins. Spend time drawing or writing or reading stories that get your brain firing. Give yourself permission to dream. Adventures begin first in your mind. Imagination is the fertile ground for adventure making. 

Plan an adventure

An adventure could be something you do close to where you live or it could be far away. I like the idea of planning lots of adventures, either weekly or monthly in addition to those big ones. In November I am going to see the 80s band Culture Club - I like their adventurous spirit. It doesn’t matter if someone shares your idea of adventure; this is all about you feeling alive! 

That’s my thoughts on escaping the ordinary. What are yours? What daily adventure have you done lately or plan on doing?  Click on the comments below and begin the adventure!